Log 11/17/08

I checked in on some old friends yesterday. Something I never thought I would ever do. I felt that these people betrayed me, used me, and took advantage of my trust. I never want to see them again, and yet, for no reason, I decided to look into what they were doing. I knew, immediately that it was a mistake. For five years I was hoping that I would rise above them and find that they had utterly failed. They haven't - in fact they look like they're doing very well which made me reflect on where I'm at in my life. Seeing what they were up to made me even more determined to do something with my life, and yet, I haven't. I remembered that living well is the best revenge and there are many things about it and myself that I would change. to live better. What got me the most was that I have this uncontrollable need to measure myself against others. I realize that it's not what you are, but what you do with your life, and I need to start doing things with mine.