Impetus To Get Out

In spending a lot of my time dreaming about the day I can get out there on the water, it has not escaped my that I haven't asked myself the question - why?  Sometimes it seems unimportant - why not?  Do I need to explain myself?  This would be an excellent challenge and satisfy my need for adventure, self-reliance, and autonomy.  

But at other times, I wonder if there is something more elemental at play here that I am avoiding.  I definitely see my need to escape, to run down the river or through the Lakes through the St. Lawrence Seaway and get out into the open water where I have nothing but options.  But I've often wondered what happens when I get there - once I've effected my escape, what next?  What would I do with the rest of my life?  This has been one of only a handful of reasons that has held me back from buying a boat and leaving immediately. 

Today I concluded that running and escaping are fine, that I'm not avoiding anything that shouldn't be avoided (an unhappy, boring, and unfulfilling life), and that fear is not driving me to this end - the promise of freedom, challenges, new sights, and independence are.  I'm very happy that I can say this with 100% certainty.  It's a rare gift.